Guest Post (CJH) - Mother's Day

The best thing about moms is that their love is felt every day, even when they are not around. My mom is the greatest example to me of how I should love my own children. It comes from the years of being shown that I was valued, that I was special and that I was loved. We should all be so lucky to have these people in our lives. It also gives me even more comfort to know that those influences are never, ever, gone.

Two of the greatest mom's ever

It is inspiring to watch Beth be a mom to our kids. She has a fantastic mom and dad as well, so it really shouldn’t surprise me. I am continually amazed at how she makes everything in our lives “work”. A long time ago I wrote something that I had planned on posting and just never got around to it, so some of the references are outdated and there’s even a child missing from the picture! I thought it would still be worthwhile to put out there because it is all still so true and maybe the best thank you I could give her to being an awesome mom to our three kids.

Smile if you love your mom! (Don't worry - Ivy only smiled when she tooted at this point in her life)

“Mommy has a meeting” nights
Tonight - “Mommy had a meeting”. That’s what we usually say when Beth gets out of the house for an evening. I try to encourage her to take advantage of these opportunities to stay plugged in with other adults as much as possible, but it’s usually just once or twice a week. Whether it’s her Tuesday night tennis club, VNA (Visiting Nurses Association) meeting or visiting a friend with a spouse who is away from home for the week – I’m glad that Beth has made such good connections in Dubuque. As much as she needs them and deserves them, I think she still feels guilty leaving me at home to put the kids to sleep. How’s that for dedication/love? She spends every other waking moment taking care of these little rug rats yet feels bad to take a few hours away. I know that all moms probably feel some insecurities about how they are doing with child rearing; I think that is natural for all parents (at least it is for me). Is this the right way to do this? Am I supposed to be doing something else? Why aren’t they responding to this? I wish I would have handled that differently. Etc. Etc. Point is - being a parent, and especially a mom, is tough! They need “meetings” in order to keep it together!

I definitely have some nights alone with the kids that are better than others; no different than any day spent at home with the kids for Beth. Sometimes we butt heads and I’m convinced that they like their mom more than their dad and that’s that. Most times though, it’s something I look forward to. The times I really crave are the ones where I’ll be putting Mya to sleep and her arms will be wrapped around my shoulders and she’ll just nestle in and cuddle for a while before letting me know she’s ready for me to put her in her crib. It’s the times where Max will be in our bed and when I come to get him and say we need to go to his room, his first response is “Daddy, I want to stay in YOUR bed!” – followed by me saying “No Max – we can’t do that” – and him sounding beyond his years replying “OK daddy, carry me - I’ll go sleep in my bed.” It’s having Max and Mya sitting next to me in the same chair as I read books, only to have Mya scoot across my lap and end up on Max and we all end up laughing hysterically because Mya keeps grabbing Max’s nose. Sounds simple, but man it is funny when you see her do it. And Max holds her tight in his lap through the whole ordeal like a proud big brother. They could fight like crazy all day, but that is easily forgotten in times like that. When I get home at 5:30 and know that I have just a few hours with my family, I might be tired, but I need those moments more than anything.

Those are the easy times; it’s when they struggle to get to sleep that I become acutely aware of how important it is that Beth is around them all day long and not me! I’d go crazy! There are a number of reasons that might trigger their behavior – age, time, how much they didn’t eat for dinner… They can be persistent, stubborn (not sure where they got that from), cranky, irritable and they search for every button of their dad’s to push. I have quite a few so it isn’t difficult but they still seem to find new ones - they are talented. No matter what though, even after nights where we struggle, I feel like it’s the least I can do for Beth. I know that she works hard every day to make sure they are safe, that they eat right, that they learn manners, learn new things, they grow and develop, and that they know they are loved. Kids don’t always make those lessons the easiest to give. A couple “meetings” a week?!? – she deserves so much more than that. There is no reason at all for her to feel bad about it, but that fact that she does is testament to the kind of person/wife/friend that she is - always thinking of other people before herself. I’ve never met someone as selfless as her. I am regularly amazed at how much thought she gives to the lives of those she cares about. If anyone ever wondered if Beth was thinking about them, I can assure you that if you were questioning it, she’s already thought about how she can be there for you.

Now here’s for praying the kids take it easy on me tonight and provide more of those memorable moments instead of the ones that make me want to duck my head under a pillow…